Well, I'm heading off to my parents' place, and my in-laws. And of course, what better way to celebrate than with kilos of powder! This year has surpassed every other in terms of aerial payloads. For less than $8, one can buy rockets with about 1kg of gunpowder. Some people have been launching these every day for the past week or so. They set off car alarms blocks away, and the diameter of the burst is probably about 20 metres? I suck at estimating sizes and weights, so maybe it's 50m. Or perhaps 5 cm. At any rate, it's big.

Last year we set someone's roof on fire in our fire-induced bliss. But to be fair, it was their fault since they never clean their roof, and it had lots of dry, dry, pine needles on it.

I bought a “Christmas Basket” for our security guards here. I'm not sure what gift baskets in other countries have, but here it contained this:

 - 1 litre of rum
 - 1 can of “Vienna” hot dogs
 - 1 bag of large marshmellows
 - 1 box of crackers
 - 1 box of brie cheese
 - 1 can of SPAM

I'm not sure what the continuity is here, but they seem to sell quite well.

Anyways, happy times to all, and if I don't blog for a few weeks, it'll be because my brother wasn't joking when he said he wanted to launch a shell horizontally. That, or I was attacked by a drunk with a can of SPAM.

Christmas is quite a bit of fun down here. Contrary to what some believe, it does get somewhat cold here, since we're at an elevation of around 2000 metres. However, what makes it *cold* is that the idea of insulation is a foreign concept to most houses. Thus, even though it's only “rather cold“ out, you can feel the coldness right through the house. I've got a little electric heater in my computer room (2 Pentium IVs and four routers aren't enough) to keep my hands from freezing.

Apparently there is a legal issue with selling real trees (”Pinabete” -- Fir or Spruce I'm guessing), some kind of ban. But that doesn't stop people from selling them. Instead, to get around the law, they cut up the tree, and then staple the branches to a piece of wood to get around the law (since they're no longer selling a “tree”). It's done quite well, and besides the fact that they get a bit dry after a while (even so, we had ours up for 4+ months last year), you'd never notice.

Some people are surprised to find that fireworks are used (almost exclusively) during the Christmas season. Christmas Eve, at exactly midnight (well, then it's be Christmas Day) everyone lights off tons of firecrackers and fireworks of all sizes. Then the do the same thing 12 hours later. The amount of firepower you can buy for pennies is quite impressive. Seriously, with a few cents, you can buy something big enough to blow a hole in a block wall. For about a dollar, you can get a pack of whistlers: small (8cm?) hollow plastic tubes filled with gunpowder that scream off as mini-rockets -- or blow up in your hand. Fun for the whole family.

This year, it seems as if a lot more people are buying aerial shells, the kinds you'd expect to see at a “serious” firework display. I've bought them every year I've been here. Playing with that kinda firepower is so much fun, since getting ahold of that stuff in u.s. or Canada is a bit of a challenge (well, if you come from any decent state :P). At any rate, pretty much every night we've been treated to some fantastic aerial display by some neighbours. Some of them are really quite huge, and I've heard more than a few car alarms go off because of the explosions.

With all this commotion, some people might think that Christmas would be quite a bit different, and surely it is. It's certainly a much more festive affair than in other places. However, the fireworks aren't as distracting as they might sound like at first. Indeed, hearing the deep sounds of the shells going off, the whistlers and firecrackers in the streets just reminds you that there's a lot more people around you, celebrating too.

Sometimes people talk of diversity as if striving for the utmost diversity is somehow going to bring a huge benefit. Somehow, the “higher” the diversity, the “better” things get. Sure, there's obviously some value into having different points of view, different methods, etc. And perhaps, more times than not, valuable information is not discovered because of too closed a point of view. OTOH, extreme diversity is not a boon. It's incompatibility.

Every now and then, I'll read about how Guatemala is so culturally rich because there's 20+ dialects of the Mayan language. I've seen a lot of people say this is a beautiful, positive thing. Yes, some people actually try to justify 20+ mutually intelligible dialects in a small country as a GOOD thing. Of course, most of the times they don't actually know any of the languages.

In fact, it gets taken even further. The government down here pushes “bilingual” education. At first, I thought that was great -- teach the kids Spanish and English so they'll have valuable skills. Nope. Instead, they're teaching math in Mayan. Thus, they'll have a hard time finding better jobs, working with society, etc. In fact, some of the indigenous people in the villages where my parents work think that their kids are being taught this on purpose to keep them back. I.e., they *want* to learn in Spanish (and other popular languages), since they know it'll help them. So, this kind of thinking does indeed limit them from getting ahead. I suppose proponents will take pride in noting that their “culturally rich”. Sigh.

Well, today Convergence (Cybernet) in Guatemala installed my cable line. They use a REALLY OLD Zenith modem. At first, they could not configure it, since it requires, get this, a Win3.0 program (ZUDUSR.EXE) to configure. Plus, they have to connect via serial using this old Win16 program. So, they had to go out somewhere else, configure the box, and bring it here.

Well, they assigned me this IP: 192.10.18.76, telling me it was a public IP with no filters at all. It struck me odd they'd have a class B assigned to them, especially 192.10.0.0/16. So, I called support.

He tells me, “Oh, you have a private IP.” I said that 192.10.18.76 was not private and actually fully routable. He disagrees and says that 192.* is private. I'm sure people who own other IPs in that netblock would be surprised to hear this.

So, it turns out Convergence is using else's (Symbolics, Inc.) netblock for now reason, other than that they are clueless. He says it's perfectly correct to route like this. I think ARIN and IANA might beg to differ. So I'm going to send him to ARIN's whois, so he can see for himself that he's 100% incorrect. My past experience with Convergence / Cybernet was pretty much the same: utterly clueless people for the most part.

Oh, and they filter ICMP, for reasons unknown. My guess is to prevent customers from easily seeing how bad their lag / packet loss is. Sigh... why is so hard to find people here who know what they're doing? As if basic TCP/IP routing was so incredibly difficult...

Mr. F. Morales left an interesting [read: lame] comment on my post about MPAA/security stupidity down here in Guatemala (at the Miraflores / Cinepolis mall). The mall *banned* all cameras and recording equipment, and actually goes around enforcing this. (Although, this isn't any different than Disney does these days in the states.) Basically, he swears at me and tells me to put up with stupidity or get out of the country. I replied to him already, so we'll leave that alone.

What he did remind me of was a time I met another overzealous "Defender of the Republic". I was once driving home, only to find that some people had decided to park all over the road, completely blocking it off. They were all inside some little party; they weren't even thinking of moving their cars. We waited a few minutes.

Then I got out and found whoever was around there and asked them why they were such morons by parking their vehicles there, and if I should move them or if they were going to take care of it. I got a long flaming response about how I shouldn't insult people just cause they're from another country and things aren't as good as they are in the USA.

I started choking from laughter. I nicely explained to the person that being an idiot is a trans-gender, trans-racial, and international designation. I don't care if this guy is from Guatemala, Canada, Zimbabwe or Manchuria. If you park your car in the road blocking me from getting home without any reason besides laziness, I'll yell at you. Some people are so insecure or sensitive about their <whatever> (be it their OS, database engine (MySQL anyone? :)), religion, or country). Sometimes, just *sometimes*, it helps to think a bit before you get annoyed about a particular bit of criticism.

My brother is running a charity this year to buy Christmas gifts for orphans in Guatemala this year. For under $10, you can get a gift delivered to an orphan this year. If you'd like to, go check it out: www.ProjectHappiness.org.

Earlier this week, I paid the local security providers (guards who supposedly guard the neighbourhood). The next day the guy came with my receipt, so I told him to leave it in the mailbox. He said, “I can't do that. I need you to sign for it.” Not sure why they do this, but whatever. Best not to argue with the guys who walk around with shotguns, know where you live, and so on, right?

So I'm handed a sheet of paper with a bunch of names and numbers on it, and told to find my name. OK, there we go, #1088. He looks in his folder and finds receipt number #1088, and then has me sign it. Then, he gives me the receipt I just signed. So I ask him “Why do you have me sign this paper, if I'm going to keep it?” “Umm, well, we have you check your name off on this list, so that we know you signed the receipt.” Alright, I'll check my name off... crazy but whatever. Oh, what's this, my name's already checked off, as are most of the names on the list. “Ahh, well. You are normally supposed to check off your name.”

And this guy gets paid to walk around and do this? It just really makes me wonder what kind of thoughts go through some peoples' brains. I wish I could have a short glimpse into some of these minds and see how it works. I mean, do they feel a fog over their mind? Or is it like they just don't care? Or does it feel like I do when I think about anti-matter warp drives: I have some clue as to how it's supposed to work but really don't know much details and probably wouldn't understand them if I did? 

It's what, mid-October? Already (and for the past two weeks I think) there are Christmas items for sale at stores, and Christmas jingles playing on the radio down here. October, November, December. That's 3 months out of the year. 3/12 -- One QUARTER of the entire year is devoted to Christmas-related marketing. And the countdowns. They do countdowns. First, the number of days until December “the nicest month of the year”. Then the countdown to Christmas itself. What drives this lunacy? Seems like something that goes on for a quarter of the year would loose its feeling of specialness.

I went downtown to the newest mall built in Guatemala: Miraflores -- yet another example of a design that'd make anyone with any amount of architectural sense sick. Built by the bright people over at spectrum.com.gt. At any rate, being somewhat bored, I decided to watch a movie. The theatres in the new mall aren't that bad.

As I walk into the mall, I see a very interesting sign: No pets, guns, cameras or video cameras allowed. While I can understand the first two items (although, seeing a rabid Akita hunting people in a Gap would be amusing), what crackhead came up with the new [video] camera idea?

At the information desk, I verified that indeed, they did mean no cameras allowed. What possible premise? Security. Apparently taking photographs of public places is somehow a threat. So I pushed a bit more... “How exactly does this improve our security?” “Um... hmm... uh, I think there was a problem at another mall, so they're just doing it in case.” In other words: “no freaking clue”. I also asked if they check people for cell phones, since you could have a camera phone and covertly take pictures. She assured me they'd find people doing that and confiscate their phones.

Later on I find out that the cinema has a $500 reward (which is probably 2x the monthly salary of the people working at the cinema), for finding anyone recording the movies. At the beginning of movies, they play a stupid commercial about not to pirate movies, and compare it to stealing a car (again showing how spaced out the MPAA is). They actually have people with night-vision scoping the audience out during the entire showing.

Now, I'm aware that they do this in the states. The stupid part is that in the USA, movies come out before you can buy them on DVD, download DVD-rips (ok, not always), or rent them at your local movie rental store. Not so in Guatemala. The movie industry is quite backwards, and releases shows much later in different parts of the world (hence their retarded DVD region coding crap). Well, by the time a movie hits Guatemalan theatres *there is no market for screeners of that movie*!

I selected one movie to watch, but my sister told me they had rented it two weeks ago. Others I had seen in theatres in the USA or downloaded DVD-rips of months ago. Some were even at Blockbuster, less than 1km away. All of them are readily available by street vendors (in your choice of VCD or DVD). Yet they still find it necessary to go to extra lengths and “prohibit” cameras to stop this huge screener racket. Silliness. I'm sad to think that some of the population here might A) actually believe them B) not be offended that a company tries to take away their freedom to carry a camera around.

In the sake of prosperity for the country, I'm planning some fun with these people:
1: Photograph and chart the entire mall.
2: Post pictures and schematics here. [For added bonus, mark up the schematics with writing in a script they don't understand.]
3: Distribute flyers at the mall with a URL; email Spectrum.
4: Enjoy the response.
And:
1: Get some empty rolls of toilet paper or other cardboard items.
2: Add a red LED to these items.
3: Distribute at the theatre.
4: Watch employees go nutty thinking they're going to get $50,000 in reward money.
5: Have even more fun when I refuse to surrender my cardboard box.

Just need to find the time...

Kalea is a furniture store in Guatemala that pretends to be more upscale and “cool”. Some of their items are pretty nice, others are just marked up 300% for no reason. At any rate, for a while, they had no functional website (just an “under construction” page). Well, I recently checked their site (www.kalea.com.gt), and was joyed to find out that, alas, they have a product listing. Yay! Now I could see if there is anything new or good to buy without driving downtime and wasting time in the store. Was I wrong.

First, the product gallery consists of one crappy photo of the product. Second, the description (in all caps for no apparent reason), consists of one short line, such as “Wooden console. Metal legs. Polished wood finish.” This, coupled with the crappy pictures, ensures you have no idea what the product is. I've looked at tables and I have no clue if they are small two-foot night stands or great hall dining tables. Silly. But even so, I could probably get some clue if they had a product I was interested, and then go down to the store to inspect and buy. Not quite.

Kalea has decided NOT to put prices on their site. Instead, they expect you to “request a quote” for every item you might be interested in. Now, their prices range from $30 - $1500 (or more) for furniture, and sometimes their prices are just outright crazy (say, their rugs, which are 3 times more expensive than the exact same rug in a store across the street). Thus, knowning the price becomes even more critical. “Hey, that looks like a nice light. Oh wait, $300 for a lamp? Forget it.” Also, before sending a quote, they ask you to fill in a form full of your info (rather than just an email address). So, I wrote them “Why the hell are there no prices”? Here's their response (they responded in English):

”Thanks for writing. The registration is needed so we can have your real information. Our website is intended for information only, this is a e-business site and not e-commerce site. If you can see, the cart is used to make a quote (Cotización), we will receive the list of products that you are interested on, and in a short time we will send you an email with the quote. We are using our site as a catalogue of products, they can be at sale, promotion, or not in store (but we can export them for you), so the prices may vary, and that is why we don´t post them.”

Don't you love that last line? I guess they've never heard of databases that have the UPDATE command, or perhaps that you can actually edit data. Also amusing is the phrase “this is a e-business site and not e-commerce site“, as if I'm supposed to say “Oh, I'm sorry; now I understand.“ Sigh.
 

30Mbps to your house:
http://www22.verizon.com/ForYourHome/Fios/packagePrice.asp
A tad pricey perhaps, but at least it's a start. Meanwhile, down here, I'm paying $229/mo for 512k...well, I will be, whenever they come to install (perhaps a month).

Actually, I've been here for over a week now... or has it been two?

What's bad is that the house (and more importantly, the Internet connection) that were promised to us turned out not be available. So meanwhile I'm on a DirecWay (yuck!) connection and a CDMA (interesting) connection. Both are slow. Both have high ping times. The CDMA connection is better than DirecWay, but it's still lacking. The cool thing is that a simple USB/PCMCIA card can connect at 128k to 2Mbps almost anywhere in the country, for only $50 a month!

Coming to Guatemala now seems a lot different than it did the first time I got here (Almost 7 years ago). More correctly, Guatemala hasn't changed much (OK, widespread Internet and cell phone access apart), but I've changed a lot. Living in Atlanta for 6 months really got me comfy on some things (like high speeds, or being able to actually order stuff online). Other things I had gotten so used to in Guatemala and then Atlanta, I've just noticed them more. Here are some random items:

-Driving. I don't have a driver's license, so I only drove once or twice while in Atlanta. Even then, it was only for a few minutes, and rather nervously. (My brother insists that you don't need a license or insurance to drive in the states, but I'm pretty sure they'd arrest you.) In Guatemala, I can use my own printed license or a few dollars. A few years ago I was stopped with no license or registration at all. After indignantly claiming I didn't need a license, the six cops settled for about $7, and even offered me change. I have a friend here who has used his university student ID card as a drivers license and it works fine. Of course, driving again just reminds me how much I hate driving (well, more specifically, traffic).

-Slow pace/bureaucratic . The USA, being quite consumer-oriented, seems to move quite fast for many products and services. Call Comcast, give them your address/phone number, and they're there in a few days installing your Internet connection (OK, YMMV :) ). Down here, it just takes longer for everything. DSL? Fill out 5 pages of paperwork, sign a 1 year contract, etc. etc. Then they might install in a month. For the Bellsouth CDMA access we have they wanted 3 bank statements, legal ownership papers and a whole slew of other stuff -- all this for a $50/month service and about $100 in hardware. Just a different pace to adjust to -- probably better for your health.

-Different freedom. While Guatemala's laws are complex and strict on some things (for instance, making an invoice requires the government to approve the design of your invoice), they are usually marginalized because of lack of enforcement or corruption (the oil of bureaucracy). I drive a 89 Jeep Korando, which wouldn't pass any inspection of anything, yet it's not a problem. I'll leave my Internet connection on (when I get a real one) eMule 24/7 and never worry about the MPAA/RIAA suing me. Of course, there's downsides to this (i.e., don't make strong enemies, since the police aren't gonna do much about it). The interesting thing is the odd things that might be enforced. For instance, broadcast on an unlicensed frequency (and almost all frequencies are licensed here), and the telecommunications agency will triangulate you and fine you quite quickly. Also, you can get stopped and fined for driving while talking on a cell phone (however driving a vehicle with no doors, exhaust like a burning oil field, and no headlights, will hardly get you noticed).

-Homogeneous environment/culture. In the states, you find all sorts of people. Companies and people must be somewhat politically correct in some areas. It's harder to make assumptions about people in the states (say, which holidays they celebrate). In Guatemala, you have essentially two groups: the Mayans and the Latinos. Inside the two groups, a lot of common thought is shared. Nothing surprising really, it's just that you don't see this as much in the states since there's quite a bit more of a mixture, and here there's a lot less diversity: I've seen perhaps 10 black people in Guatemala city and the surrounding areas (go towards Belize and of course this changes) in the years I've been here. Once I saw a company van (a photo company) driving around with loudspeakers playing a common anti-gay song at full volume. I highly doubt they got any complains.

-Radio/TV suck. Oh wait, that's not differnet. They suck in the states too. Although, I'm able to get Korean TV included in the cheap ($10) cable package (unlike Comcast, who wants $15/mo for *one* channel more).

-Money. Basic living costs are much cheaper (rent, food, etc.). However, go above that, and you get gouged. The big electronics store down here (related to Sony) sells the same equipment for about double or triple the cost of what'd you'd in the states. Telgua wants $150 for a 128K ADSL line with a public IP ($50 a month if you want private). MS Office 2002 retails for $500+ at Office Depot here. Also, good luck on finding a GeForce 6800. Yet, you could get an Oracle DBA with 8 years of experience for probably $2000 or $3000 a month.

-Armed guards. Something I'm so used to I almost forgot: armed guards. Everywhere. At the bank in Atlanta, I think the guard had a pointy stick and a .22. Here, the guard at the postal office had some mean-looking automatic assault rifle. Pretty much any mall, store or any place with anything of any value will have really-armed guards. After a bit they just start to blend in. And in reality, I doubt they help that much. I worked on restoring bank robbery footage, and the poor bank guard in one attack couldn't even pull his pistol out in time. Also, the thieves are similarly (or more -- in one video, they came in with some machine gun type thing that was around 150cm long), and have the element of surprise. In fact, I'm not even sure how a guard would use an assault rifle in a mall or a bank. Police are armed like that too (once I got stopped on foot by police -- by having their uzi stuck into my back), but they've got some training at least.

-Security. Since the police force is not an effective deterrent (since the response is not that great), a lot of focus is put on prevention. This is directly in constrast to the states, where prevention is hardly anything, and everything is based on detection and response. Almost all houses will have a wall around them, some with razor wire or perhaps broken glass on top. Driving around in Atlanta's suburbs seemed so strange, since you could look, or walk, right into people's houses. Also, I've yet to see many residential windows that don't have iron bars across them. Having homes be like mini-fortresses just seems natural after a while.

Those are just some differences, some nice, some not-so-nice, that I've noticed. I'll try to remember some others.