I haven't had the chance to respond personally to everyone who has commented and emailed me. But let me tell you, each one of your letters has touched my wife and I, and has helped us in ways you can't know. Quite a few people have said that Mei had a purpose, that Mei has accomplished much, that this is how it was meant to be.

While my original reaction was “Ain't that swell. You have a kid, and that's great. She dies, and that's still great. What a load of crap.”, reading things people have written has changed my mind. I'm slowly, albeit painfully, coming to terms with that Mei was sent to do something, and she did that, and then had to go. It doesn't make sense. It pisses me off. Couldn't a lesson be taught without losing her?

Things seem to move so fast. I can't believe that Mei has come. I think that I'm going to wake up and hug her. I feel like someone will just come by and Mei will be with them. I remember kissing her goodbye, singing to her tomb, and it's so completely surreal. I feel guilty for not being hysterical all day long. I have a peace... but a feel bad that perhaps it's so soon. but I guess that's not true. I know Mei wants me to be happy. If I'm eating pizza, or watching a movie, if I'm smiling, she's happy I hope. Mei, please understand it's not that I have forgotten you, it's not that I am not terribly sad, I'm just trying to cope.

Gaby just got back from our house, cleaning Mei's stuff. I want to keep a few things to have of her, and the rest we'll keep for when she or her sister/brother comes along. She has a cute pink little pijama, with a little cat on it. We just bought that the day Mei was born, and it's SOO cute on her.

Anyways, I think I'm going in circles now, so I'll sign off for the night. I just want everyone to know that your comments, your letters, your words of support, even when there are no words, do help. I know there's nothing we can do, except support each other. Hearing that Mei has made an impact in some lives consoles me, knowing there was a reason.